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【TOP 50】Josh Billings Quotes - WhatsApp Status | Page-1

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A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings Quotes

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

American Comedian Animals Funny inspirational Love

Live within your income, even if you have to borrow money to do so - Josh Billings Quotes

Live within your income, even if you have to borrow money to do so

Don't take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to - Josh Billings Quotes

Don't take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to

A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates - Josh Billings Quotes

A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates

Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail. - Josh Billings Quotes

Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.

American Comedian Funny Money

There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: Twins. - Josh Billings Quotes

There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: Twins.

American Comedian Editor's Pick Funny Life Quote of the Day

The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide - Josh Billings Quotes

The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide

Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there. - Josh Billings Quotes

Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.

American Comedian Funny

If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time. - Josh Billings Quotes

If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.

American Comedian Funny Hunting

Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal - Josh Billings Quotes

Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal

Plenty of folks are so contrary that if they should fall into the river, they would insist upon floating upstream. - Josh Billings Quotes

Plenty of folks are so contrary that if they should fall into the river, they would insist upon floating upstream.

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease. - Josh Billings Quotes

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease. - Josh Billings Quotes

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.

The truly innocent are those who not only are guiltless themselves, but who think others are - Josh Billings Quotes

The truly innocent are those who not only are guiltless themselves, but who think others are

Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius. - Josh Billings Quotes

Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.

Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense. - Josh Billings Quotes

Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.

American Comedian Common Sense Funny

There is a sort of charm in ugliness, if the person has some redeeming qualities and is only ugly enough - Josh Billings Quotes

There is a sort of charm in ugliness, if the person has some redeeming qualities and is only ugly enough

Charm

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness. - Josh Billings Quotes

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.

American Comedian Forgiveness Funny

About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment. - Josh Billings Quotes

About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.

American Comedian Funny Hope

Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or else there will be no profit in boarding a Newfoundland - Josh Billings Quotes

Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or else there will be no profit in boarding a Newfoundland

Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return. - Josh Billings Quotes

Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return.

American Comedian Economy Funny

Occasions are rare; and those who know how to seize upon them are rarer - Josh Billings Quotes

Occasions are rare; and those who know how to seize upon them are rarer

I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design. - Josh Billings Quotes

I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design.

Design Poverty And The Poor

Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit. - Josh Billings Quotes

Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit.

American Comedian Fun Funny

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it. - Josh Billings Quotes

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.

American Comedian Funny

Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors - Josh Billings Quotes

Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors

God

Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take. - Josh Billings Quotes

Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take.

American Comedian Funny

If a man is too right he can't be too radical; if he is wrong, he can't be too conservative - Josh Billings Quotes

If a man is too right he can't be too radical; if he is wrong, he can't be too conservative

Thrice is he armed that hath his quarrel just, and four times he who gets his fist in fust - Josh Billings Quotes

Thrice is he armed that hath his quarrel just, and four times he who gets his fist in fust

Some folks are wise and some otherwise. - Josh Billings Quotes

Some folks are wise and some otherwise.

One of the best temporary cures for pride and affection is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs. - Josh Billings Quotes

One of the best temporary cures for pride and affection is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.

Affection American Comedian Funny

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope. - Josh Billings Quotes

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.

American Comedian Envy Funny

We hate those who will not take our advice and despise those who do - Josh Billings Quotes

We hate those who will not take our advice and despise those who do

There are two things in this life for which we are never fully prepared and that is twins - Josh Billings Quotes

There are two things in this life for which we are never fully prepared and that is twins

Life

The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm. - Josh Billings Quotes

The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm.

American Comedian Funny Life

It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit. - Josh Billings Quotes

It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit.

American Comedian Funny

It is a statistical fact that the wicked work harder to reach hell than the righteous do to enter heaven - Josh Billings Quotes

It is a statistical fact that the wicked work harder to reach hell than the righteous do to enter heaven

The wicked work harder to reach hell than the righteous to reach heaven - Josh Billings Quotes

The wicked work harder to reach hell than the righteous to reach heaven

Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at. - Josh Billings Quotes

Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at.

American Comedian Confession Funny

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got. - Josh Billings Quotes

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.

American Comedian Funny Madness

There's lots of people who spend so much time watching their health, they haven't got time to enjoy it. - Josh Billings Quotes

There's lots of people who spend so much time watching their health, they haven't got time to enjoy it.

Poverty is the step-mother of genius - Josh Billings Quotes

Poverty is the step-mother of genius

Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected. - Josh Billings Quotes

Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected.

Advice American Comedian Funny

There is a significant Latin proverb; to wit: Who will guard the guards? - Josh Billings Quotes

There is a significant Latin proverb; to wit: Who will guard the guards?

Love iz like the meazles; we kant have it bad but onst, and the later in life we have it the tuffer it goes with us - Josh Billings Quotes

Love iz like the meazles; we kant have it bad but onst, and the later in life we have it the tuffer it goes with us

Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something. - Josh Billings Quotes

Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.

American Comedian Funny

The less we know the more we suspect - Josh Billings Quotes

The less we know the more we suspect

The less we know the more we suspect - Josh Billings Quotes

The less we know the more we suspect

Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can't suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb. - Josh Billings Quotes

Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can't suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.

American Comedian Funny

There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it. - Josh Billings Quotes

There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.

American Comedian Funny

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